Sunday, November 30, 2008

Your Outfit Is NOT as Cool as You Think It Is...

Whoever invented leggings, sweaters that are too short, and Uggs as an outfit needs to be drug into a large group of people and mauled to death by something in the large feline family. I think a tiger would do just fine.
There are many other outfits that can be seen romping through department stores that make me want to hurt small children for no reason. The fact that these jolly holiday shoppers can loaf through their day at the mall in their WAY to skinny jeans with a toddler-sized shirt on is just plain offensive to those of us who go though the day with our eyes open. I understand we cannot all afford personal assistants, but when did mirrors get so expensive?

Black Friday: The Mecca of All Things Evil...

A Wal-Mart worker died early Friday after an "out-of-control" mob of frenzied shoppers smashed through the Long Island store's front doors and trampled him, police said.

The Black Friday stampede plunged the Valley Stream outlet into chaos, knocking several employees to the ground and sending others scurrying atop vending machines to avoid the horde.

When the madness ended, 34-year-old Jdimytai Damour was dead and four shoppers, including a woman eight months pregnant, were injured.

Go right ahead and pat yourself on the back if you can admit that buying your XBOX, iPhone, Wii Fit, or My Little Pony Playset was worth hospitalizing a pregnant woman and killing a man. Congrats, and Happy Holidays to you.

In other news, items are still on sale at every store you walk into. They will be until Christmas. (I doubt they will even be cool in a year. Mazal Tov.)