Sunday, November 30, 2008
There are many other outfits that can be seen romping through department stores that make me want to hurt small children for no reason. The fact that these jolly holiday shoppers can loaf through their day at the mall in their WAY to skinny jeans with a toddler-sized shirt on is just plain offensive to those of us who go though the day with our eyes open. I understand we cannot all afford personal assistants, but when did mirrors get so expensive?
The Black Friday stampede plunged the Valley Stream outlet into chaos, knocking several employees to the ground and sending others scurrying atop vending machines to avoid the horde.
When the madness ended, 34-year-old Jdimytai Damour was dead and four shoppers, including a woman eight months pregnant, were injured.
Go right ahead and pat yourself on the back if you can admit that buying your XBOX, iPhone, Wii Fit, or My Little Pony Playset was worth hospitalizing a pregnant woman and killing a man. Congrats, and Happy Holidays to you.
In other news, items are still on sale at every store you walk into. They will be until Christmas. (I doubt they will even be cool in a year. Mazal Tov.)