Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Day of Rest? No, no! Strap the kids up, we're going SHOPPING!

To some, Sundays are meant to be a day of rest, dinner with the family, or the perfect time to decorate for the holidays. For others, it is the day you break out little Juan's new Love Buddy backpack leash and drag him kicking and screaming to the local mall.

I'm not even going to ask who invented these things. I'm sure it's some tree hugging PTA mom who also attends every "Mommy-and-Me" class she can find in this city. She probably sees these things as "A loving bond between mother and child", I see them as creepy.

For those of you who are unaware of these demoralizing little gems, I provided an equally demoralizing photograph.

Yes, that's right. Thank God for that 3 feet of designer, rainbow nylon. Now there is zero chance that anything remotely bad could ever happen to little Demoralized Debbie. I wonder why Chanel and Dior haven't dipped into this clever market yet? I think it could really be huge for Spring of '09. I digress....

If you had not already noticed, I don't like these things because I think they are weird. Most mall employees don't like these things because we don't like hearing your child scream when he is jerked back to "home base". Lastly your kids don't like these things either!! If you are a dumb ass and wonder why, take 20 minutes and strap yourself to a dining room chair. I think you will promptly agree with my opinion after that. Please stop using a string of synthetic material to call your self a "safe parent". Put them in a stroller, hold their hand, or for the love of God, spend some of that holiday shopping money on a BABYSITTER.

1 comment:

carmel catelope said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!! I will keep reading, you can count on me!